Tag Archives: lifestyle

Finding your purpose

What is actually the point?

As I’m now a young adult and apparently I have responsibilities and things to do, I’ve really began to think, what is actually the point of all this? I know it sounds like quite a deep blog post title and subject, but I’m talking about something really important here. Is the point of life just to work until we retire… and then die? Is the only purpose of us simply to make money to live and eat food, support ourselves and our family… and then die? What is the point of having a blog? What is the point of creating friendships and relationships and maintaining them? What is the point of my degree? Why am I doing this?

These questions and statements are of course true in some ways, but in other ways couldn’t be further from the truth and I’ve just put them out there as points of discussion. But, I’m sure I can’t be the only person who has thought about them.

I think it’s really important to have a purpose, or a goal that you’d like to achieve at some point in your life. Or even a list of things you’d love to do, places you want to travel too, food you want to try and so on. By doing this, you’re creating a purpose. A purpose for your life.

If you have depression, it can become hard to find a reason to get up in the mornings, a reason to stay motivated or a reason to do absolutely anything at all. And sometimes it can feel like that for people who aren’t suffering with mental ill-health too.

If I sat and thought about life and the idea that all we do is work and then die, I would drive myself crazy, which is why we have to do the things we love.

I know it’s easier said than done, most of the times our circumstances make it impossible for us to quit everything and do what we love. For example, I want to be an author. I always have and probably always will. But because I’m still a student, I have other career paths too, I don’t have much money, I need to build a following first and I need a publisher to believe in me, I can’t just be an author tomorrow because I want too. But, I can write on the side as my hobby and hope and pray that if I work hard enough it will happen for me in the future.

These thoughts are what gives me a purpose in life, hope that I can do everything I want too before my life is over and a point in all of this.

I think the true purpose we all have and the reason we’re all here is to 1. Be truly and genuinely happy with everything we have and everything we achieve, and 2. To create beautiful memories with people we love.

If you think about everything else, none of it really matters. I recently quit a job that I had worked at for two and a half years, because I was working three jobs at once whilst studying in my final year at University and everything got too much. I beat myself up every single day for a month trying to decide whether to quit this job and I was so afraid that if I did, I’d let someone down. I finally made the decision to leave and guess what? Not one person said goodbye to me. Not. One.

After that, I realised that you have to value yourself and you have to make sure everything you’re doing has a purpose. When you’re going for a job, think about why the hell you actually want to do it, what the purpose is and what it’s going to bring you. If it’s not positivity, then don’t do it. It really is so simple, because this is your life and you need to feel a sense of purpose in order to live a fulfilled life. It’s imperative. That job was making me miserable and quitting was the best decision for me. And it was proof that all my worrying for the month beforehand was over nothing as me leaving didn’t affect anyone, anyway.

Like I mentioned earlier, I know that each persons circumstances are so different. But what I want you to take from this blog post, that if you’re like me and have started to question what the point of all of this is, you must find a purpose. What is the purpose of you doing whatever you’re doing?

If your purpose in life is to bring up your children to the best of your ability, then make that your life goal. If your purpose in life is to make sure your partner is happy, then so be it. If your purpose in life is to become a CEO and make £1million, then write down all of the ways you want to achieve that and make it your life purpose. Does this make sense?

None of us want to die, but it’s inevitable. Sorry. We’re all going to die, so make your life purposeful and full of reason. Make your life a fulfilled one. Follow your dreams. Do whatever you want and certainly don’t care what people say.

Find your life purpose, because everyone has one.

Chloe x

Hello 2019!

Ah, 2019. A brand new year. A fresh start. New year, new me and all of that. A new year is usually the time for people to start making their new year resolutions, writing any goals they hope to achieve in the new year and starting a clean slate. I do love thinking about a new year and all it can bring, however it can be a difficult time for us. In this blog post, I’m going to be discussing the pressures that the new year can bring and how I, personally, don’t particularly agree with resolutions.

The problem with resolutions is that you can automatically be setting yourself up for a fall. There’s no point in me making a resolution that says ‘I’m not going to drink as much wine’ for example, because I already know I won’t be able to keep up with that promise. I love wine too much.

New year resolutions can cause you to put so much pressure on yourself to complete the things that you’ve told yourself you need to do it the year ahead, that sometimes you don’t end up doing anything at all and find yourself in a rut. I never set myself resolutions, but I do think it’s great to have goals or a bit of a plan of what you hope to achieve in the next 12 months. Emphasis on the word hope! It’s perfectly OK if you don’t achieve your goals. And if you do, well done you! That’s fantastic. Here are the things that I’m hoping to do this year;

  • Complete University and graduate
  • Save, save, save
  • Buy a new car
  • Find a full time job that I love
  • Be accepted to do my Masters degree/ start my Masters degree
  • Be more dedicated to my blog
  • Start You Tube (if I can pluck up the confidence)
  • Finish my book
  • Get my book published
  • Find my self-confidence
  • Find belief in myself
  • Get fit and healthy
  • Make new friends
  • Go on a holiday

I know it seems like I have a lot of goals, and I do. But this is just a summary of everything I’d like to achieve, but I know it’s not all going to happen in the next year. By making sure I know this, it helps to keep things into perspective and to tell myself that I don’t need to pile the pressure on to achieve them. They will happen when they happen.

Take finding my self-confidence or believing in myself for example, that kind of thing takes years to accomplish, to truly have confidence in yourself. I know that this isn’t going to happen in one year, but my goal is to put more emphasis and effort into helping myself to feel this way in 2019.

It’s hard not to put pressure on yourself whenever a new year comes around, as quickly as it always does. You see other people starting the gym, eating well, glowing and pushing themselves to do the things they want by the 1st week of January, yet you still can’t find the motivation to do any of that for yourself. And this is perfectly OK. Just because we enter a new year, does not mean you’re a different person. We don’t enter a new life when the new year begins, we carry on being us but the time moves on and we have to try and keep up.

My friends Dad is turning 60 next month and she told me something that he said, that really stuck in my head. She told me that her Dad said he isn’t worried about turning 60, it’s just another number. He said that he’s just happy to still be waking up every day, so his 60th birthday is just another day to be happy about. And this is the idea that I want to take into 2019.

If you’re reading this, you’re still here. You made it into 2019. You’re here and you’re living and breathing. Without putting pressure on yourself in the new year, just be happy that you’ve made it into 2019 and think about how fantastic and positive it is that you’re waking up every day.

Second step, think about what’s going to make you the happiest this year. Slowly but surely, find the confidence to get rid of the things that aren’t making you happy anymore. Whether that be a person, a relationship, a friendship, a job, a habit, your diet, anything! If you need to stop doing things that you did last year because they don’t make you happy anymore, then make 2019 the year that you choose to do what makes you happy. Use the clean slate of a new year to make these decisions for yourself.

Also, think about where you were this time last year and think about how far you’ve come. I feel like I was a completely different person this time last year in comparison to who I am now. I’ve grown in so many different ways and I’ve learnt so many things. And that’s what a new year should be about; learning and growing naturally without pressure.

So, less of the pressure on yourself, find your happiness in whatever that may be, and don’t feel worried if you haven’t achieved everything on your list by the end of January. I’m telling you now, that’s not going to happen. Everything is a process, it’s the beginning that is the most important part.

After you’ve read this post, please, get a pen and paper and write what you hope to achieve in a list, just like I did up there ^.

Don’t put any time limits on, this adds pressure that we’re trying to avoid.

I hope January is working out in the best way possible for you, and if it’s not, don’t worry. We have a long year ahead of us and so many changes are going to happen and things are going to work out the way they should.

I’d love to hear some of your goals for the year ahead, so let me know!

Happy 2019.

SIZE DOES NOT DEFINE BEAUTY.

Hello, hello, hello! So, a couple of hours ago, as I was sweating and spluttering on the treadmill trying to run off the chocolate bar I’d eaten at lunch, I was thinking about another idea for a post to do with health, fitness, and lifestyle. Recently, as Christmas and the New Year is approaching us, I’ve been trying my best to get fit and attempt to lose a small bit of weight. My logic is that if I can achieve this before Christmas then I can eat all the chocolate, cake and Christmas pudding that I want, to treat myself for the hard work I’ve done in the gym. Sounds fair, right?

I really enjoy exercising because I know of all the positive affects it has on your overall health and well being, and I do feel great after I’ve motivated myself to do a long workout. But sometimes, it takes a hell of a lot for me to get myself up and even walk through the doors of the gym. As soon as I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirrors that are stuck up on every wall of the gym, I always feel a sense of embarrassment, thinking that people will be staring at me in the gym. It sounds so ridiculous, because I know that the reality is 100% of the time people do their own thing and don’t bat an eyelid. But it’s hard, to feel completely confident enough with yourself to stand in front of that mirror in the gym or at home and love what you see.
These feelings prompted me to write a post, addressing the big issue of body confidence and why we should try to learn to be happy with ourselves, no matter what size we are!
I have been fluctuating between sizes 8-12 all my life. I can’t say that I feel totally happy with my body, but I think that’s just the normal human reaction when we look at ourselves in the mirror. My body is complete different shapes and sizes; I’m small in height (5’2 to be exact), but have long arms, big hips and thighs, and small legs – I’m totally out of proportion.
I know that the things I see online aren’t always reality, but it’s true that we can’t help letting the things we see affect us. The rise of social media has warped the way we view ourselves. When we’re scrolling on Instagram and see all of the pretty and skinny models, we sit and wish that we looked like them. When we watch television and see the adverts, 99% of the women used for different adverts and campaigns are size zero models. It leaves us feeling miserable about seeing these types of models, and frustrated that we aren’t seeing normal, everyday women on our TV and phone screens. We start to tell ourselves we need to aspire to look like these models, so we break our backs trying to work out, paying over the odds for gym memberships and healthy eating recipes. 
But why? Why can’t we be happy with our own bodies? Why can’t we work out for ourselves, instead of doing it to become someone else?
A while back, my friend told me that a guy made it clear he didn’t want any communication with her anymore and his reason for this was disgusting. He said she was ‘too big’ and he wasn’t into that kind of ‘thing’. 
Comments just like this should never be targeted at anyone, and it made me sick to my stomach that he had an opinion of this kind. Body confidence is probably one of the most difficult things to feel and it makes it harder when people have these kinds of attitudes, and I am so glad that some companies are now beginning to use models of all different shapes, including plus size, to show small-minded people who have these opinions that being any size is BEAUTIFUL. 
It’s so difficult not to compare what we look like to others. We’re always trying to look better, and feel better. But I have one thing I’ve started to tell myself and I hope you can do the same no matter what size you are;
I LOVE MY BODY.
We are beautiful in every way! If I want to go to the gym and eat healthily, I’m doing it for myself. Nobody else. I’m tired of looking online and feeling te
rrible after comparing myself to people who I will probably never meet in real life. We have begun to have such a distorted view of what is actually reality. The things people post online are what they want us to see. Women’s bodies are being photo-shopped in every aspect so that they look the way the model wants to be presented, in order to get the most ‘likes’.
I’m trying my hardest not to consume myself in the social media bubble that is so easy to get pulled into, because I’m tired of comparing myself!
It does take a lot of time, but I’m learning to love the way I look. I’m learning that it doesn’t matter how different your body may look compared to somebody else’s, because we are all different, unique and special in our own way. And we are all beautiful.
It doesn’t matter what size you are, what shape you are, or even what hair colour you are. You can wear whatever you want, work out as much or as little as you want, eat whatever you want as long as you are happy in your own skin and feel confident.
As we’re living in the 21st century, and we know that the rise of technology, social media and advertising is going to continue to rise and take over every single aspect of our lives. Which is amazing, because social media is wonderful for so many different things. However, we need to ensure that we do not let the posts we see of other people affect the reality we are living. An image of a pretty, tiny, size 6 model DOES NOT DEFINE BEAUTY. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and the greatest beauty you can portray is CONFIDENCE.
Social comparison is unhealthy but is felt by everybody, it’s hard not to. But once we learn to love the way we look, we can appreciate others who we see online, but know that we don’t have to compare ourselves to them, or moreover, aspire to be them.
We are all beautiful!