Category Archives: Thoughts

Finding your purpose

What is actually the point?

As I’m now a young adult and apparently I have responsibilities and things to do, I’ve really began to think, what is actually the point of all this? I know it sounds like quite a deep blog post title and subject, but I’m talking about something really important here. Is the point of life just to work until we retire… and then die? Is the only purpose of us simply to make money to live and eat food, support ourselves and our family… and then die? What is the point of having a blog? What is the point of creating friendships and relationships and maintaining them? What is the point of my degree? Why am I doing this?

These questions and statements are of course true in some ways, but in other ways couldn’t be further from the truth and I’ve just put them out there as points of discussion. But, I’m sure I can’t be the only person who has thought about them.

I think it’s really important to have a purpose, or a goal that you’d like to achieve at some point in your life. Or even a list of things you’d love to do, places you want to travel too, food you want to try and so on. By doing this, you’re creating a purpose. A purpose for your life.

If you have depression, it can become hard to find a reason to get up in the mornings, a reason to stay motivated or a reason to do absolutely anything at all. And sometimes it can feel like that for people who aren’t suffering with mental ill-health too.

If I sat and thought about life and the idea that all we do is work and then die, I would drive myself crazy, which is why we have to do the things we love.

I know it’s easier said than done, most of the times our circumstances make it impossible for us to quit everything and do what we love. For example, I want to be an author. I always have and probably always will. But because I’m still a student, I have other career paths too, I don’t have much money, I need to build a following first and I need a publisher to believe in me, I can’t just be an author tomorrow because I want too. But, I can write on the side as my hobby and hope and pray that if I work hard enough it will happen for me in the future.

These thoughts are what gives me a purpose in life, hope that I can do everything I want too before my life is over and a point in all of this.

I think the true purpose we all have and the reason we’re all here is to 1. Be truly and genuinely happy with everything we have and everything we achieve, and 2. To create beautiful memories with people we love.

If you think about everything else, none of it really matters. I recently quit a job that I had worked at for two and a half years, because I was working three jobs at once whilst studying in my final year at University and everything got too much. I beat myself up every single day for a month trying to decide whether to quit this job and I was so afraid that if I did, I’d let someone down. I finally made the decision to leave and guess what? Not one person said goodbye to me. Not. One.

After that, I realised that you have to value yourself and you have to make sure everything you’re doing has a purpose. When you’re going for a job, think about why the hell you actually want to do it, what the purpose is and what it’s going to bring you. If it’s not positivity, then don’t do it. It really is so simple, because this is your life and you need to feel a sense of purpose in order to live a fulfilled life. It’s imperative. That job was making me miserable and quitting was the best decision for me. And it was proof that all my worrying for the month beforehand was over nothing as me leaving didn’t affect anyone, anyway.

Like I mentioned earlier, I know that each persons circumstances are so different. But what I want you to take from this blog post, that if you’re like me and have started to question what the point of all of this is, you must find a purpose. What is the purpose of you doing whatever you’re doing?

If your purpose in life is to bring up your children to the best of your ability, then make that your life goal. If your purpose in life is to make sure your partner is happy, then so be it. If your purpose in life is to become a CEO and make £1million, then write down all of the ways you want to achieve that and make it your life purpose. Does this make sense?

None of us want to die, but it’s inevitable. Sorry. We’re all going to die, so make your life purposeful and full of reason. Make your life a fulfilled one. Follow your dreams. Do whatever you want and certainly don’t care what people say.

Find your life purpose, because everyone has one.

Chloe x

Hello 2019!

Ah, 2019. A brand new year. A fresh start. New year, new me and all of that. A new year is usually the time for people to start making their new year resolutions, writing any goals they hope to achieve in the new year and starting a clean slate. I do love thinking about a new year and all it can bring, however it can be a difficult time for us. In this blog post, I’m going to be discussing the pressures that the new year can bring and how I, personally, don’t particularly agree with resolutions.

The problem with resolutions is that you can automatically be setting yourself up for a fall. There’s no point in me making a resolution that says ‘I’m not going to drink as much wine’ for example, because I already know I won’t be able to keep up with that promise. I love wine too much.

New year resolutions can cause you to put so much pressure on yourself to complete the things that you’ve told yourself you need to do it the year ahead, that sometimes you don’t end up doing anything at all and find yourself in a rut. I never set myself resolutions, but I do think it’s great to have goals or a bit of a plan of what you hope to achieve in the next 12 months. Emphasis on the word hope! It’s perfectly OK if you don’t achieve your goals. And if you do, well done you! That’s fantastic. Here are the things that I’m hoping to do this year;

  • Complete University and graduate
  • Save, save, save
  • Buy a new car
  • Find a full time job that I love
  • Be accepted to do my Masters degree/ start my Masters degree
  • Be more dedicated to my blog
  • Start You Tube (if I can pluck up the confidence)
  • Finish my book
  • Get my book published
  • Find my self-confidence
  • Find belief in myself
  • Get fit and healthy
  • Make new friends
  • Go on a holiday

I know it seems like I have a lot of goals, and I do. But this is just a summary of everything I’d like to achieve, but I know it’s not all going to happen in the next year. By making sure I know this, it helps to keep things into perspective and to tell myself that I don’t need to pile the pressure on to achieve them. They will happen when they happen.

Take finding my self-confidence or believing in myself for example, that kind of thing takes years to accomplish, to truly have confidence in yourself. I know that this isn’t going to happen in one year, but my goal is to put more emphasis and effort into helping myself to feel this way in 2019.

It’s hard not to put pressure on yourself whenever a new year comes around, as quickly as it always does. You see other people starting the gym, eating well, glowing and pushing themselves to do the things they want by the 1st week of January, yet you still can’t find the motivation to do any of that for yourself. And this is perfectly OK. Just because we enter a new year, does not mean you’re a different person. We don’t enter a new life when the new year begins, we carry on being us but the time moves on and we have to try and keep up.

My friends Dad is turning 60 next month and she told me something that he said, that really stuck in my head. She told me that her Dad said he isn’t worried about turning 60, it’s just another number. He said that he’s just happy to still be waking up every day, so his 60th birthday is just another day to be happy about. And this is the idea that I want to take into 2019.

If you’re reading this, you’re still here. You made it into 2019. You’re here and you’re living and breathing. Without putting pressure on yourself in the new year, just be happy that you’ve made it into 2019 and think about how fantastic and positive it is that you’re waking up every day.

Second step, think about what’s going to make you the happiest this year. Slowly but surely, find the confidence to get rid of the things that aren’t making you happy anymore. Whether that be a person, a relationship, a friendship, a job, a habit, your diet, anything! If you need to stop doing things that you did last year because they don’t make you happy anymore, then make 2019 the year that you choose to do what makes you happy. Use the clean slate of a new year to make these decisions for yourself.

Also, think about where you were this time last year and think about how far you’ve come. I feel like I was a completely different person this time last year in comparison to who I am now. I’ve grown in so many different ways and I’ve learnt so many things. And that’s what a new year should be about; learning and growing naturally without pressure.

So, less of the pressure on yourself, find your happiness in whatever that may be, and don’t feel worried if you haven’t achieved everything on your list by the end of January. I’m telling you now, that’s not going to happen. Everything is a process, it’s the beginning that is the most important part.

After you’ve read this post, please, get a pen and paper and write what you hope to achieve in a list, just like I did up there ^.

Don’t put any time limits on, this adds pressure that we’re trying to avoid.

I hope January is working out in the best way possible for you, and if it’s not, don’t worry. We have a long year ahead of us and so many changes are going to happen and things are going to work out the way they should.

I’d love to hear some of your goals for the year ahead, so let me know!

Happy 2019.

What is the true meaning of Christmas?

YAY December is here! Christmas is approaching! I really do love Christmas. I love the constant food that you’re allowed to eat just because it’s Christmas. I love the Christmas jumpers, getting new socks and pyjamas, spending time with my family, getting drunk at 12 in the afternoon JUST BECAUSE it’s Christmas, everything!! Since December 1st, I have already consumed by body weight in biscuits, I can’t stop eating them! I keep telling myself that it’s Christmas and therefore I can treat myself.
Christmas is such a jolly time. Although the temperature outside drops in December which I’m not always a big fan of, because the freezing cold mornings do make it hard to get out of bed. But they look so pretty when you finally make it outside! I do love the lead up to Christmas. Each year I feel as though it starts to begin earlier and earlier. This year, I was seeing Christmas decorations in shops and Christmas adverts on the television around mid- November time which is pretty ridiculous. But it did get me into the Christmas spirit!
Especially as I live at University so I am away from home for the majority of the year, I love the Christmas break that I get as I’m able to go back home and spend the whole of it with my family.
For this blog post, I wanted to talk about Christmas and what it means to me personally and what I think it should represent for everyone else too.
I also wanted to address the facts that Christmas isn’t a happy time for everyone. For a number of different reasons, Christmas can be such a painful time for a lot of people and I wanted to talk about how important it is to respect this, and what we can do to help.
Christmas for me, is nothing to do with any gifts that I may or may not get from people. I would much rather receive a thoughtful and generous gift from someone, than an expensive one that doesn’t have any meaning behind it. I truly mean that. Sometimes it’s easy to feel pressure about what to buy for people. We feel the need to buy people gifts and cards who we may have not spoken to for the entire year, but we feel a responsibility to get something for them and end up putting way too much pressure on ourselves in fear of not disappointing anyone. We write a long list of people who we must send Christmas cards too just because we’ve always done it and we would hate to miss them out, even if we haven’t had a face to face conversation with these people in years! It’s crazy when you think about it.
I don’t have children myself, but I can completely understand how difficult it must be for parents around Christmas time, planning what gifts to get for their children and spending a lot of money and hoping that they won’t be disappointed and feeling guilty if they are. I understand how difficult it must be to ensure that all of your children get equal amounts of gifts so that there is no fighting. Sometimes this pressure makes us forget the idea of what Christmas is all about.
I love how Christmas is a time for everyone to come together and look back on the year they’ve had and have fun together. It’s lovely to open cards and presents with your family, but for me, it really isn’t about that. Of course, when I was younger I absolutely loved opening my new toys and couldn’t wait to see what ‘Santa’ had brought to me. But now that I’m 20, I’ve realised how much pressure is put on parents, and everyone, to make sure they get the right presents and I’ve started to realise that – not to sound too cheesy – but this isn’t the true meaning of Christmas.
 
We work hard all year round to then spend the majority of our money at Christmas time, which I don’t think is fair. I love my family and my friends, and don’t get me wrong, I’d absolutely love to spoil them and I love seeing their faces light up if I buy them something I know they really want. But whilst I’m a student, I know that I can’t afford to buy expensive presents and even if I did have the money, I still wouldn’t.
We need to start putting more thought into our presents and Christmas a whole. It’s a lovely time to spend with family and friends and the people that we love. It’s about appreciating each other in every way and creating memories at Christmas time which will be talked about for years to come, and generations to come. Especially if your family is large and is dispersed all over the country, or even in different places all over the world – Christmas is a time where everyone should come together and enjoy each other’s company. Until the Christmas board games are brought out and the whole family starts arguing about the rules – it happens every year!
Christmas is portrayed as a jolly, happy and fun time for everyone. As I’m getting older, I can’t help but think about those people who are in need, and those people who don’t find Christmas a happy and joyful time. For some people, Christmas brings back awful memories of something they experienced around December and are trying to forget. For some people, Christmas makes grieving for someone they’ve lost much more difficult, knowing that another Christmas will be spent without them here. Some people are homeless on Christmas, some people have absolutely nothing. Some people are lonely and have nobody to see and nowhere to go at Christmas time. The reasons why Christmas isn’t enjoyable for everyone are endless.
It’s so important to give everything you can and help as much as you can to people who need it the most. Nobody should ever feel lonely around Christma
s time and it’s important that we try to help prevent that in any way we can. Sometimes I think of so many ideas of ways that I want to help people, it makes me think I need to save the world. I know that we can’t help everybody, and some people don’t want to be helped and prefer being homeless or being by themselves at Christmas time, and these personal decisions need to be respected.
But for the people who are lonely and it isn’t through their own choice, I am determined to help out at Christmas time and make them feel part of something again. Whether it’s just enjoying a Christmas dinner at the local pub and meeting new friends, everyone should be surrounded by happiness at Christmas and there are so many ways we can volunteer and help to do this.
As for those who have lost someone close to them, including myself, it’s important to try and enjoy Christmas even though they aren’t here. Christmas will make you think of that person more and miss them, and wish more than anything that they were still here. But Christmas should be thought of as a time to come together and honour that person, to talk about special memories that the family member or friend, parent, grandparent, whoever it may be, was part of. We can use Christmas as a way of celebrating their life and a way of thinking about all the fantastic Christmases they were part of in the past.
I hope the message taken from this article is to respect others at Christmas and to understand that it isn’t always a great experience for everyone. This doesn’t mean that you should ever feel guilty for enjoying your Christmas or showing off your gifts. However, I think it’s very important to spare a thought for those vulnerable people who are in a worse position than us and think about the selfless acts of kindness we can do for those who really need us.
I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas, remember to hug your loved ones tight and appreciate every second you share together over the Christmas period.

 

I wish you all the greatest happiness and health going into 2018.

SIZE DOES NOT DEFINE BEAUTY.

Hello, hello, hello! So, a couple of hours ago, as I was sweating and spluttering on the treadmill trying to run off the chocolate bar I’d eaten at lunch, I was thinking about another idea for a post to do with health, fitness, and lifestyle. Recently, as Christmas and the New Year is approaching us, I’ve been trying my best to get fit and attempt to lose a small bit of weight. My logic is that if I can achieve this before Christmas then I can eat all the chocolate, cake and Christmas pudding that I want, to treat myself for the hard work I’ve done in the gym. Sounds fair, right?

I really enjoy exercising because I know of all the positive affects it has on your overall health and well being, and I do feel great after I’ve motivated myself to do a long workout. But sometimes, it takes a hell of a lot for me to get myself up and even walk through the doors of the gym. As soon as I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirrors that are stuck up on every wall of the gym, I always feel a sense of embarrassment, thinking that people will be staring at me in the gym. It sounds so ridiculous, because I know that the reality is 100% of the time people do their own thing and don’t bat an eyelid. But it’s hard, to feel completely confident enough with yourself to stand in front of that mirror in the gym or at home and love what you see.
These feelings prompted me to write a post, addressing the big issue of body confidence and why we should try to learn to be happy with ourselves, no matter what size we are!
I have been fluctuating between sizes 8-12 all my life. I can’t say that I feel totally happy with my body, but I think that’s just the normal human reaction when we look at ourselves in the mirror. My body is complete different shapes and sizes; I’m small in height (5’2 to be exact), but have long arms, big hips and thighs, and small legs – I’m totally out of proportion.
I know that the things I see online aren’t always reality, but it’s true that we can’t help letting the things we see affect us. The rise of social media has warped the way we view ourselves. When we’re scrolling on Instagram and see all of the pretty and skinny models, we sit and wish that we looked like them. When we watch television and see the adverts, 99% of the women used for different adverts and campaigns are size zero models. It leaves us feeling miserable about seeing these types of models, and frustrated that we aren’t seeing normal, everyday women on our TV and phone screens. We start to tell ourselves we need to aspire to look like these models, so we break our backs trying to work out, paying over the odds for gym memberships and healthy eating recipes. 
But why? Why can’t we be happy with our own bodies? Why can’t we work out for ourselves, instead of doing it to become someone else?
A while back, my friend told me that a guy made it clear he didn’t want any communication with her anymore and his reason for this was disgusting. He said she was ‘too big’ and he wasn’t into that kind of ‘thing’. 
Comments just like this should never be targeted at anyone, and it made me sick to my stomach that he had an opinion of this kind. Body confidence is probably one of the most difficult things to feel and it makes it harder when people have these kinds of attitudes, and I am so glad that some companies are now beginning to use models of all different shapes, including plus size, to show small-minded people who have these opinions that being any size is BEAUTIFUL. 
It’s so difficult not to compare what we look like to others. We’re always trying to look better, and feel better. But I have one thing I’ve started to tell myself and I hope you can do the same no matter what size you are;
I LOVE MY BODY.
We are beautiful in every way! If I want to go to the gym and eat healthily, I’m doing it for myself. Nobody else. I’m tired of looking online and feeling te
rrible after comparing myself to people who I will probably never meet in real life. We have begun to have such a distorted view of what is actually reality. The things people post online are what they want us to see. Women’s bodies are being photo-shopped in every aspect so that they look the way the model wants to be presented, in order to get the most ‘likes’.
I’m trying my hardest not to consume myself in the social media bubble that is so easy to get pulled into, because I’m tired of comparing myself!
It does take a lot of time, but I’m learning to love the way I look. I’m learning that it doesn’t matter how different your body may look compared to somebody else’s, because we are all different, unique and special in our own way. And we are all beautiful.
It doesn’t matter what size you are, what shape you are, or even what hair colour you are. You can wear whatever you want, work out as much or as little as you want, eat whatever you want as long as you are happy in your own skin and feel confident.
As we’re living in the 21st century, and we know that the rise of technology, social media and advertising is going to continue to rise and take over every single aspect of our lives. Which is amazing, because social media is wonderful for so many different things. However, we need to ensure that we do not let the posts we see of other people affect the reality we are living. An image of a pretty, tiny, size 6 model DOES NOT DEFINE BEAUTY. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and the greatest beauty you can portray is CONFIDENCE.
Social comparison is unhealthy but is felt by everybody, it’s hard not to. But once we learn to love the way we look, we can appreciate others who we see online, but know that we don’t have to compare ourselves to them, or moreover, aspire to be them.
We are all beautiful!

Healthy Mind, Healthy Body, Healthy Life

If you switch on the news, go online, or read a newspaper in everyday life of today, you will see that this topic is the most talked about within our society at the moment. Mental health surrounding young people is a topic that is becoming much less of a taboo to talk about, and I feel more recently is most definitely being focused on.
According to research, 75% of mental illnesses start before a child reaches their 18thbirthday, while 50% of mental health problems in adult life take root before the age of 15.
Although this may be a difficult subject to discuss, suicide is the leading cause of death in young men and women aged 20-34 in the UK. The latest figures that have been published by the Office of National Statistics reveal that the number of young suicides each year is greater than it ever has been in the last 10 years.
Why are the stats so high?
I truly believe that the reason the statistics are so high for suicide is because young people feel they do not know where to turn when fighting a mental illness. Whether it be depression, anxiety or something even more severe such as alcohol or drug dependency, there are not enough resources available for young people to ask for help. Not only that, there is a stigma attached to ‘mental illness’.
Research has found that particularly in males, they may find it more difficult to speak about their emotions and feelings, which leads to an increase in male suicides. Males feel that they are going to be judged for not being ‘manly’ enough, or they face the fear that they will be told to ‘man up’ if they admit that they are feeling depressed, sad, lonely or anxious.
I have to admit, within the last couple of years I have noticed a huge change in focusing on mental health and young people, and the services and funding regarding the topic has most definitely improved. But we need to keep going.
The fight to eradicate the ‘taboo’
Statistics will tell us that 16 million people in the UK will experience a mental illness. One in four adults will experience a mental illness at some point each year. In fact, I like to think of it this way; we all have mental health. Every single person experiences mental health, and some days our mental health will be amazing, and other days our mental health will be poor.
My point is, everyone feels it. Everyone has been through times where they have felt depressed and lonely, and nobody should have to go through it alone. I want everyone to feel comfortable enough in society to be able to openly speak about the way they are feeling and feel okay about asking for help, because talking about it changes everything. We need to fight the stereotypical view that men should be ‘manly’ and shouldn’t be talking about their emotions; because they should. We need to fight the stereotypical view that women dramatize everything and should ‘get on with things’ because that isn’t healthy.
Mental health should be talked about and assessed every single day.
Just like the title says, ‘healthy mind, healthy body, healthy life’. Our mental health is fundamental in being able to achieve other things in our lives. If you are suffering with mental health issues, it is so easy to block out everything else. It feels like a downward spiral of not wanting to see family or friends, not wanting to go to work or education, and not wanting to do anything. I truly believe that our mental health should come before anything else, sometimes that includes physical health too.
What can we do to help ourselves?
Talk. Express your emotions. Cry as much as you need too!
 
I urge you to talk about the way you’re feeling. Find someone you trust and let everything out. Bottling your sadness, loneliness or any other bad feelings inside will only cause the issue to get worse. There are so many people that are able to help.
I have seen the rise of organisations and charities that are determined to help anyone who may be feeling suicidal or lonely and it’s so important that if you are feeling this way, to seek all the help you can get.
The most important thing to take from this article, is to never feel embarrassed. Never feel embarrassed to talk about the way you’re feeling no matter who you are, no matter what gender, age, race, ethnicity you are. We are all human beings who should never feel ashamed of feeling emotions.
I have linked just a few websites and organisations who are there for you to talk too, whenever and wherever you need it. Don’t bottle things up, mental health is nothing to be afraid or ashamed of and there is always someone there to help you.

 

Heartbreak.

I thought I would write about quite a deep, sensitive and emotional subject for this week’s blog post. I wanted to talk about something that I myself, have been through and can very much relate too and I hope that you can too. I wanted to talk about heartbreak and relate that to the importance of self-worth and believing in ourselves, even after a relationship breakdown.
When looking back at relationships, it’s easy to feel as though you regret being with that certain person, especially if the relationship ended in a toxic way. It’s hard to feel as though you could ever forgive that person for breaking your heart and hurting you. But I realised a lot of things each time I felt hurt and let down in another relationship, things that I will explain as this blog post goes on.
Feeling heartbroken brings about so many different feelings and emotions. You can feel lost and feel a sense of grief that you’re unable to be with that person anymore. Personally, I sometimes find it difficult to deal with change. I like having the same routine and this is the same for my relationships. I love having the same person there every day to be with, so for me, when that suddenly changes and they aren’t there anymore for whatever the reason may be, I completely struggle to deal with it. Once you have relied on someone for a certain amount of time, you truly believe that that person won’t be going anywhere and when they do, you feel lost and heartbroken.
Even if you are the person in the relationship that hasn’t done wrong, or even if the break up was mutual, you’re still left asking yourself questions; ‘Why wasn’t I good enough?’ ‘What am I going to do now?’ ‘Why didn’t they want me?’ ‘Will I ever find anyone else?’
There have been countless times for me, where a relationship has ended and I have felt totally worthless. The thoughts going around in my head are mad, and each knock back after knock back has made me feel as though I’ll never be good enough for anyone.
Getting over heartbreak is a process, and one that takes time. It’s just like when you’re grieving – grieving and heartbreak come under exactly the same bracket. There’s absolutely no time limit for heartbreak. There is no rule book to tell you how long it should take to get over someone. You need to give yourself time; time to heal, time to get over that person, time to feel emotions again, and time to love yourself.
The initial human reaction after a break up is to start feeling bitter towards that person. You feel as though you hate them, and you use this hatred in order to tell yourself how much you need to get over them. You force yourself to think of all the times they may have upset you and all the hurtful words they may have said to you and this ultimately makes the bitterness worse. I’ve done it myself, I intensify my ‘hatred’ for that person in order to tell myself how awful they are so that I can try to move on. For a long time, I’ve felt like this was the only way to be able to move on.
But I’ve been so, so wrong.
It’s the most freeing feeling to just move on from something and feel genuinely happy. I realised that in order to move on from feeling heartbroken and hurt; you MUST LET GO. You cannot hold onto the hate and hurt and use that in an attempt to move on, it doesn’t work.
It’s important to look at relationships from a different angle. Be thankful for the memories that the relationship gave you without feeling bitter. You enjoyed the time you spent with that person and the way they made you feel for a while, and they became a chapter in your life. Just because that chapter may have ended, doesn’t mean your life is over. I know how worthlessness feels, but I also know how important it is to shake the feeling of it off, and how important it is to continue with your life without that person, focusing on yourself and only yourself.
I found that I was too busy relying on other people, and I was focusing too much on my relationships to make me happy. I was desperate to find someone who could give me the love that I deserve, and who could give me the love that I was able to give to them. Unfortunately, I haven’t found that person yet. But that’s perfectly okay.
I’ve been hurt, but I can use these past relationships to help me find the right one. I’ve learnt a lot about myself, I’ve learnt how strong I am, and that I really don’t give myself enough credit!
I really want to stress how much you cannot let someone else make you feel as though you aren’t good enough. Stop asking yourself the questions I mentioned earlier, because you are enough and you always will be for someone. If a person makes it clear they do not want you – move on and better yourself. There’s no time to be wasted.
I know these words are easy to read but very difficult to do when you’re actually in the situation of a break up. But it’s taken me to feel heartbroken a couple of times to realise that I am worth more than the way I have been treated in the past, and now I know this, I won’t settle for anything less than someone who adores me, and neither should you!
I want you to take away from this post that things will always get better. I want you to learn to appreciate your past relationships, and even though they may not have worked out, they have taught you something. Let go of any bitterness, there’s more to life than feeling anger towards someone. You are worth everything and more, and one day you will find the right person who emphasises your worth every single day.

 

I truly hope you all find the person you’re looking for and have long, happy and successful relationships.

Do More Of What Makes You Happy! Why Didn’t I?

This blog post is all about happiness. The importance of self-happiness, what exactly makes us happy as individuals and the reasons why it’s OK not to always be happy.
Although I may only be 20 years old, I have been through many difficult times, some much worse than others and some that I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to make it out of. It should not matter how old you are, each and every one of us still feel emotions of every kind; love, sadness, happiness, heartbreak, jealousy. Our mental health and emotional state is the most important thing. When thinking about myself, not only did I feel unhappy within myself, but also with the rest of the world.
It really did take me an incredibly long time to realise that time heals absolutely everything. It is impossible for us, as human beings, to be OK, 100% of the time. Everybody has days where they feel as though they can’t get out of bed and they don’t want to socialise with the world. Everybody has days where they feel down and worthless and unmotivated. Some people may just find it easier to hide through a smile. The cheery postman you see each morning; he could be having the worst day of his life. The cashier lady you see in your local shop who always smiles and says hello could be feeling a sense of loneliness that you have never felt before.
But then there’s the flip side! The cheery postman you see could have been through the hardest challenges, but something inbuilt inside of him has told him to wake up each day, do his job and be happy within himself. And that’s the most important point that I would like each and every reader to take from this blog post:
Happiness comes from within yourself.
It’s important to understand that events happen in our lives and we really do have no control over them, I know this is a frustrating thought, but we can’t ever change what could or might happen. And that isn’t the way to live! The knock backs we might face make us human. It does not matter how long it takes, but you will always be OK. We have an inbuilt ability to always find a way out of difficult situations, and to always come out stronger and learn from whatever has happened to us. We need to ensure that we give ourselves time, time to heal, time to move on from something that has hurt us or affected us in any way, time to become as successful as we want to be, and time to be truly happy.
Happiness comes from within yourself – you cannot be happy in your life if you do not love yourself. You need to be confident and proud of everything that you have already achieved, the situations you have been able to come out of and learn from are what makes you, you. You really can get through anything and achieve anything you want too, even though at some points you might not feel as though you can. Everything takes time.
These words are so easy to say, and it took me such a long time to convince myself that there was any truth in them. I realised that I had to take a look at myself and ask, ‘what makes me happy?’ I realised that I had been living my life through other people, and concerning myself with what other people thought and said and relied on them to shape the way my everyday life was going to go, rather than concentrating on myself. By doing this, most of the time unintentionally, I lost all my confidence and any self-worth I once had. I never put myself first in my own life, and when I think about it in that way it sounds so ridiculous. It’s so easy to lose yourself through hard times, but you need to figure out what makes you genuinely happy.
I love being creative, I love writing, reading, colouring, creating random things, and for a very long while I stopped doing all of that. But why shouldn’t I be doing the things that I love? If you love dressing in crazy, colourful, flamboyant clothes, do it! If you love dancing, do it! If your dream is to fly planes around the world, do it! You can do anything you want if you tell yourself you are going to be successful and if it makes you happy. It’s the most important thing to ask yourself what really makes you happy and do something to change it, it may have taken me a few years to realise this, but it truly was the best thing I ever did.
But please remember, it’s OK to not be happy some days. It’s normal, and you’re not alone. Things are always going to get better, even when they feel as though they never will. I know a lot of things you may hear sound so ridiculously hard to believe. But right now you might be in a situation that you think you won’t survive. However, six months ago you were in another situation you thought you wouldn’t survive, but you did. Even two years before that, there was something else going on around you which you thought you wouldn’t survive, but again, you did and you’re still here. Living your life to the fullest. You can always make it through anything, but the only way to do that is to put yourself first and never live your life for other people.
Only you can make your life better in whichever way you want too and once you have that figured out, somebody you love will then come along and complete everything. But until then, don’t ever let anyone try to drag you down, tell you anything different, knock your confidence in any way or stop you from doing the things you love and adore.

 

Each and every one of you deserves to be happy, but it has to start with you and your self-happiness!