Author Archives: ChloeEWrites

About ChloeEWrites

Hello and welcome to my blog! Here you will find posts about life, books, positive psychology, mental health and wellbeing, true crime, food and more! Make sure to comment, share, like and engage as much as you can :) lots of love!

Finding your purpose

What is actually the point?

As I’m now a young adult and apparently I have responsibilities and things to do, I’ve really began to think, what is actually the point of all this? I know it sounds like quite a deep blog post title and subject, but I’m talking about something really important here. Is the point of life just to work until we retire… and then die? Is the only purpose of us simply to make money to live and eat food, support ourselves and our family… and then die? What is the point of having a blog? What is the point of creating friendships and relationships and maintaining them? What is the point of my degree? Why am I doing this?

These questions and statements are of course true in some ways, but in other ways couldn’t be further from the truth and I’ve just put them out there as points of discussion. But, I’m sure I can’t be the only person who has thought about them.

I think it’s really important to have a purpose, or a goal that you’d like to achieve at some point in your life. Or even a list of things you’d love to do, places you want to travel too, food you want to try and so on. By doing this, you’re creating a purpose. A purpose for your life.

If you have depression, it can become hard to find a reason to get up in the mornings, a reason to stay motivated or a reason to do absolutely anything at all. And sometimes it can feel like that for people who aren’t suffering with mental ill-health too.

If I sat and thought about life and the idea that all we do is work and then die, I would drive myself crazy, which is why we have to do the things we love.

I know it’s easier said than done, most of the times our circumstances make it impossible for us to quit everything and do what we love. For example, I want to be an author. I always have and probably always will. But because I’m still a student, I have other career paths too, I don’t have much money, I need to build a following first and I need a publisher to believe in me, I can’t just be an author tomorrow because I want too. But, I can write on the side as my hobby and hope and pray that if I work hard enough it will happen for me in the future.

These thoughts are what gives me a purpose in life, hope that I can do everything I want too before my life is over and a point in all of this.

I think the true purpose we all have and the reason we’re all here is to 1. Be truly and genuinely happy with everything we have and everything we achieve, and 2. To create beautiful memories with people we love.

If you think about everything else, none of it really matters. I recently quit a job that I had worked at for two and a half years, because I was working three jobs at once whilst studying in my final year at University and everything got too much. I beat myself up every single day for a month trying to decide whether to quit this job and I was so afraid that if I did, I’d let someone down. I finally made the decision to leave and guess what? Not one person said goodbye to me. Not. One.

After that, I realised that you have to value yourself and you have to make sure everything you’re doing has a purpose. When you’re going for a job, think about why the hell you actually want to do it, what the purpose is and what it’s going to bring you. If it’s not positivity, then don’t do it. It really is so simple, because this is your life and you need to feel a sense of purpose in order to live a fulfilled life. It’s imperative. That job was making me miserable and quitting was the best decision for me. And it was proof that all my worrying for the month beforehand was over nothing as me leaving didn’t affect anyone, anyway.

Like I mentioned earlier, I know that each persons circumstances are so different. But what I want you to take from this blog post, that if you’re like me and have started to question what the point of all of this is, you must find a purpose. What is the purpose of you doing whatever you’re doing?

If your purpose in life is to bring up your children to the best of your ability, then make that your life goal. If your purpose in life is to make sure your partner is happy, then so be it. If your purpose in life is to become a CEO and make £1million, then write down all of the ways you want to achieve that and make it your life purpose. Does this make sense?

None of us want to die, but it’s inevitable. Sorry. We’re all going to die, so make your life purposeful and full of reason. Make your life a fulfilled one. Follow your dreams. Do whatever you want and certainly don’t care what people say.

Find your life purpose, because everyone has one.

Chloe x

Hello 2019!

Ah, 2019. A brand new year. A fresh start. New year, new me and all of that. A new year is usually the time for people to start making their new year resolutions, writing any goals they hope to achieve in the new year and starting a clean slate. I do love thinking about a new year and all it can bring, however it can be a difficult time for us. In this blog post, I’m going to be discussing the pressures that the new year can bring and how I, personally, don’t particularly agree with resolutions.

The problem with resolutions is that you can automatically be setting yourself up for a fall. There’s no point in me making a resolution that says ‘I’m not going to drink as much wine’ for example, because I already know I won’t be able to keep up with that promise. I love wine too much.

New year resolutions can cause you to put so much pressure on yourself to complete the things that you’ve told yourself you need to do it the year ahead, that sometimes you don’t end up doing anything at all and find yourself in a rut. I never set myself resolutions, but I do think it’s great to have goals or a bit of a plan of what you hope to achieve in the next 12 months. Emphasis on the word hope! It’s perfectly OK if you don’t achieve your goals. And if you do, well done you! That’s fantastic. Here are the things that I’m hoping to do this year;

  • Complete University and graduate
  • Save, save, save
  • Buy a new car
  • Find a full time job that I love
  • Be accepted to do my Masters degree/ start my Masters degree
  • Be more dedicated to my blog
  • Start You Tube (if I can pluck up the confidence)
  • Finish my book
  • Get my book published
  • Find my self-confidence
  • Find belief in myself
  • Get fit and healthy
  • Make new friends
  • Go on a holiday

I know it seems like I have a lot of goals, and I do. But this is just a summary of everything I’d like to achieve, but I know it’s not all going to happen in the next year. By making sure I know this, it helps to keep things into perspective and to tell myself that I don’t need to pile the pressure on to achieve them. They will happen when they happen.

Take finding my self-confidence or believing in myself for example, that kind of thing takes years to accomplish, to truly have confidence in yourself. I know that this isn’t going to happen in one year, but my goal is to put more emphasis and effort into helping myself to feel this way in 2019.

It’s hard not to put pressure on yourself whenever a new year comes around, as quickly as it always does. You see other people starting the gym, eating well, glowing and pushing themselves to do the things they want by the 1st week of January, yet you still can’t find the motivation to do any of that for yourself. And this is perfectly OK. Just because we enter a new year, does not mean you’re a different person. We don’t enter a new life when the new year begins, we carry on being us but the time moves on and we have to try and keep up.

My friends Dad is turning 60 next month and she told me something that he said, that really stuck in my head. She told me that her Dad said he isn’t worried about turning 60, it’s just another number. He said that he’s just happy to still be waking up every day, so his 60th birthday is just another day to be happy about. And this is the idea that I want to take into 2019.

If you’re reading this, you’re still here. You made it into 2019. You’re here and you’re living and breathing. Without putting pressure on yourself in the new year, just be happy that you’ve made it into 2019 and think about how fantastic and positive it is that you’re waking up every day.

Second step, think about what’s going to make you the happiest this year. Slowly but surely, find the confidence to get rid of the things that aren’t making you happy anymore. Whether that be a person, a relationship, a friendship, a job, a habit, your diet, anything! If you need to stop doing things that you did last year because they don’t make you happy anymore, then make 2019 the year that you choose to do what makes you happy. Use the clean slate of a new year to make these decisions for yourself.

Also, think about where you were this time last year and think about how far you’ve come. I feel like I was a completely different person this time last year in comparison to who I am now. I’ve grown in so many different ways and I’ve learnt so many things. And that’s what a new year should be about; learning and growing naturally without pressure.

So, less of the pressure on yourself, find your happiness in whatever that may be, and don’t feel worried if you haven’t achieved everything on your list by the end of January. I’m telling you now, that’s not going to happen. Everything is a process, it’s the beginning that is the most important part.

After you’ve read this post, please, get a pen and paper and write what you hope to achieve in a list, just like I did up there ^.

Don’t put any time limits on, this adds pressure that we’re trying to avoid.

I hope January is working out in the best way possible for you, and if it’s not, don’t worry. We have a long year ahead of us and so many changes are going to happen and things are going to work out the way they should.

I’d love to hear some of your goals for the year ahead, so let me know!

Happy 2019.

Does being a book lover make it harder to find love?

Literature is so powerful. Whether it be quotes, poems or novels, some authors are so talented that the words they write down and share with us, stay in our minds and make us want to read the same story all over again. I am a lover of books and I always have been. I love the way you can immerse yourself deeply into a story line and forget about everything for the moments that you’re reading. I have quite a few books that are my absolute favourites which I have read over and over and I could continue reading numerous times because I love way they have been written, by the most talented authors.
 
When thinking of my favourite books and characters, I began to wonder about a few different things. It’s so easy to fall in love with a fictional character, it can happen after reading a book, or watching a film. After spending hours watching your favourite series, you become obsessed with the characters and the story line. When it’s over, you feel like your life is! It can be the same with books. You can enjoy a book so much that you start to believe the characters are real, or wish they were real. I started to think to myself, does being a book lover make it harder to form relationships in real life?
 
Take Fifty Shades of Grey, for example. I’m currently halfway through the second book. After watching the films, I wanted to be able to compare the books vs films and see which I preferred. Along with the rest of the population of women, it’s safe to say that I have fallen in love with the idea of Christian Grey. He is mysterious, sexy and always in control. But when you’re finished with the books and have watched the films, you have to keep telling yourself he’s not real. Everyone wants a Christian Grey, but he’s a fictional character and it’s very unlikely that I will find a Christian Grey walking down the street of my hometown.
 
When reflecting on myself and the way I view relationships, I am an old romantic. I believe in love, I believe in falling in love and I believe that we all have soulmates. Reading romantic fiction has made me believe in love even more intensely. I was thinking to myself, by reading I am constantly comparing real life people to those amazing characters that I have found in books. And so far, not many real world people have lived up to my standards.
 
Being a lover of literature, words, quotes and poems can sometimes distort the reality of our relationships. I know for myself, reading books has given me ideas of what I want in my life and the certain relationships I want to form in my life. This can be a great thing, because it has helped me in many ways. But, it’s hard not to compare with the characters you have read about.
 
The answer to the question; does being a book lover make it harder to form relationships in real life? I think potentially, it could make you raise your expectations about what you want from people.
 
Which is not a bad thing.
 
Reading makes me so happy, and I will never stop reading. I use this as an escapism from whatever is going on, and it gives me so many new ideas about my own writing.
 
I once saw a quote that said; ‘Never apologise for having high standards. The people that are meant to be in your life will rise up to meet them.’ 
 
This is so true. A fictional character you may have fallen in love with, or aspire to be like will never be a real person. But you can use the things you have read, quotes that have stuck in your head, to remind yourself of the way to form relationships and what you deserve. Although many books can seem ‘far-fetched’, you can still use the things you read and relate them to your own thoughts and experiences, which is something I do often.
 
One of my favourite ever books of poetry, is ‘Love and Misadventure’ written by Lang Leav. If you are a romanticist like me, who is full of love and loves reading about love, then you need this book.
 
It was hard to
choose because the book is absolutely fantastic. But, here is one my favourite poems from the book;
 
All or Nothing
If you love me for what you see, only your eyes would be in love with me.
If you love me for what you’ve heard, then you would love me for my words.
If you love my heart and mind, then you would love me, for all that I’m.
But if you don’t love my every flaw, then you musn’t love me – not at all.
 
– Lang Leav
 
I hope you continue to read and fall in love with many more characters.

 

Get To Know Me

When I’m looking online, whether it be YouTube or reading blog posts, I love to read when people do Q&A’s. Although I haven’t been uploading on my blog for a long time, I thought it would be a really cool idea to do answer a few questions that I’ve never been asked before or questions that I’ve never shared the answer too. I was trying to get inspiration from other bloggers and YouTuber’s about which questions to chose and I found loads that I really like! So if you’d like to find out a few weird and wonderful things about me, here’s 20 Q&A’s for you to enjoy 😊
 
1)  What is your eye colour? – I was born with blue eyes but they change colour every day. Sometimes they’re green, sometimes they’re grey. They must change depending on what mood I’m in that day!
2) What’s the first thing you notice about people? – I’m drawn to people who are funny, kind and warm. If you welcome me with a genuine smile then I’ll instantly like you. I also enjoy people who can take a bit of sarcasm and funny remarks, someone you can bounce off straight away.
3) Where were you born? – I was born in Bolton, North West of England. I love my hometown even though it’s always freezing.
4) When was the last time you cried? – Last night! I’m not afraid to admit that I’m a very sensitive and emotional person. I cry at everything.
5) Scary movie or happy endings? – I have to say scary movies. Don’t get me wrong, I am a real old romantic. I love rom-coms and sunshine and rainbows. However, I also love the scary stuff. Even though I do cover my face for the majority of the films!
6) What is your biggest accomplishment? – Genuinely, my biggest achievement is becoming the young woman I am right now. I know it sounds cliché, but I’ve survived heartbreak and many other things and come out the other side a much stronger, confident and resilient person. I’m very proud of myself for that.
7) What is your favourite food? – Anything Mexican, all day, every day. I love it. I love spicy food.
8) What is an ideal first date for you? – I’m really not one of those girls who expects anything glamorous for a date, not even a first date. I’m happy with something really chilled and relaxed, somewhere that we both feel comfortable. But, if I had to pick somewhere, I’d love for someone to take me to the theatre.
9) What’s your biggest fear? – I’m not sure of the answer to this question. I’m scared of a lot of things. I’m scared about losing people close to me, I’m scared of letting people down. But, I don’t think there’s anything specific that I’m scared of, like spiders. I used to be really afraid of fire, but I think I’m over that now.
10) Have you ever broken a bone? – Nope, never! Touch wood it stays that way.
11) What is the first app you check when you wake up in the morning? – I feel like it’s Snapchat! I like to see if people have posted videos from going out the night before. I’ll double check which one I automatically go for first when I wake up tomorrow!
12) On a scale of 1-10, rate your driving skills? – Definitely 10. Or maybe 9.5 because I do sometimes eat when I’m driving which is distracting. But I think I’m a very safe driver!
13) What are some of your favourite things about yourself? – This is a hard question, I hate talking about myself like this. It’s like on your CV or in a job interview they ask you to talk about yourself, I can’t do it! But, I do like that I’m a patient person. I’m also very loving.
14) What do you consider unforgivable? – Apart from the obvious things, I would find it hard to forgive someone close to me who has betrayed me in any way. If you lie to me for a long period of time, I’d find it hard to forgive.
15) What’s your most embarrassing moment? – There’s too many to write here, we haven’t got all day! But one of them is probably when I fell off a stool in a nightclub, wearing a very tight dress. My bum was soaking and it looked like I’d wet myself. I was mortified.
16) What is your least favourite thing about yourself? – Maybe my jealousy. Also, how unconfident in myself I am. I am also a very, very stubborn person and I don’t think I’
ll ever be able to change that. It can be frustrating sometimes.
17) Are you a good secret keeper? – Yes. I pride myself on being loyal.
18) What is your favourite season of the year? – I should probably say summer, but it has to be Autumn. Everything looks so pretty, and I love Halloween.
19) Do you have tattoos? – Yes, I have three.
20) Where do you see yourself in 10 years? – I hope that I have a family, three children. I’d love two boys and a girl, but obviously I’ll be happy and grateful for any children I have! I hope to be successful, wealthy and genuinely happy. And to have met the love of my life.
These are 20 of my favourite questions that I found, but there were so many more, it was difficult to chose! I would love to do another post like this, with even more weird and wonderful questions. I am also hoping to do another post with more blogging related questions; why did I start blogging? What inspired me? Where do I get my ideas from? Great ideas are coming very soon, I promise!
I also want to take this post to say that sometimes it’s good to ask yourself some of these questions and right down your answers. It’s perfectly okay to talk about yourself, even if its just to yourself. It’s perfectly okay to tell yourself what you’re good at, what your favourite things about yourself are, and what your greatest achievements are. It’s easy for people to think you’re being arrogant, but self-confidence is a brilliant attribute to have. I know that I need to start telling myself much more positive things about myself each day, and so should you. Have a go, ask yourself some questions and write down the first answer that comes into your head. Maybe you’ll learn a few new things about yourself, just like I did!

Body Confidence Journey.. If I Can, You Can Too.

Before I started writing this blog post, I was trying to think back over the past 5 or 6 years to a time when I felt confident with my body and the way I looked. Genuinely, I couldn’t think of one time! I’ve never been fully confident with my body, ever, and it really dawned on me when I was thinking about how to start this post.
When you are younger, for example, at high school, the way you feel about your body and body confidence isn’t really something that you are constantly thinking about. Well, for me it wasn’t anyway. My main focuses were enjoying my time with my friends, talking about boys and trying to stay out of any drama! I would never wake up and look at myself and think that I was unhappy, even though I probably was. I’d just put my uniform on and get on with my day. When I got to year 11, so I was 16 years old, I lost so much weight. Looking back at pictures of me when I was as small as I was honestly makes me want to cry. I didn’t lose this weight intentionally as my final year of school was probably one of the worst years I’ve had in my life so far, which caused me to lose all the weight. I became ill, the small amount of food that I was actually eating I couldn’t even hold down because every day I was so anxious about the number of things that were going on, my body physically wouldn’t let me swallow! I ended up going down to a size 4-6. I’ve always had curves, the same as my Mum, but I just lost everything. I can’t stand to look at pictures of myself like that, because I know how unhealthy it was.
When I got to college, I was back eating normally again but I still wasn’t happy with the way I looked. I would say that I was probably putting on weight, but definitely not enough. My anxiety over these two years was still through the roof, and the whole two years of college seems like a complete blur to me and not a time that I like to reflect on. At this point of my life, it became clear how much pressure is put on young women to look a certain way. I would go into college and look around me at all the other girls, who dressed up for college, and then I’d go into the bathroom and look at myself in a hoodie and leggings and feel so awful. I didn’t even have the confidence to wear what I wanted, I wasn’t the size I wanted to be and I wasn’t wearing the things I would have loved to wear.
I then moved onto University, where I started to put so much weight back on, but then I put on too much. I felt fat, ugly and disgusting, even though to others they didn’t think that at all. I was unhappy in my first year of University and stopped going to my lectures as I knew I was going to change course and start my first year again, so all I did every single day was stay in bed and eat. I was way too anxious to go out, and the thought of stepping foot in a gym scared me way too much. It was never going to happen. I could feel myself becoming so unhealthy and every time I looked at myself, again, I felt awful. But I couldn’t stop eating! I had nothing else to do during my days, I was literally waiting for the year to be over. So, food was my comfort for making the days’ pass. It wasn’t even healthy food either, I was eating way too much pasta, getting takeaways and chocolate from the shop every other day. I was a complete mess, and even reflecting on this part of my life fills my stomach with knots.
I don’t want this post to be all doom and gloom, but I needed to share my journey with you all. I’m now almost 21, and in my third year of University and I have never felt better.
I’ve gone from being a girl who was too anxious to leave the house, who never felt confident about who she was and what she looked like, a girl who was depressed, to now going to the gym every day and enjoying every minute of it. I’ve gone from wearing baggy clothes in the gym and wanting to cover every inch of me, to now feeling confident enough to wear whatever gym clothes I want, whether they be baggy or tight gym leggings and crop tops. And the best part which I never thought I would say; I’m taking part in a triathlon in a month’s time. I can’t believe it!
The whole point of this blog post is just to share with anyone who has struggled with their body image and feeling body confident, or still is struggling, that things can change so easily and so quickly. Never in a million years did I think that I would be taking part in a big sporting event. Firstly, because I didn’t think I would ever feel confident enough. And secondly, because I never thought I would be fit and healthy enough.
My first bit of advice is that you need to surround yourself with the right people. From my last year at high school and all throughout college, I had nobody around me who was trying to motivate me and empower me, which is what best friends and any kind of relationships are meant to be there for. I was left feeling like I wasn’t good enough for anything or anyone because I was allowing people around me to treat me this way. Moving into different groups and letting go of people who only made me feel worse about myself was the best decision. Even if this means cutting them off, and losing a big group of people who you believed to be your ‘friend
s’. The reality is, if they don’t make you feel great and support you, are they truly meant to be in your life?
Secondly, you have to make yourself feel better, for you and only you. Try not to care what people think of you. I know myself, it’s difficult especially if you’re an over-thinker or suffer with anxiety. I found it hard to go to the gym because I was worried that everyone would be staring at me and judging me. But the reality is, that doesn’t happen! People may look at you once when you walk through the door to see who it is (don’t we all?) but then everyone looks away and carries on with their own thing. You need to do as much or as little to whatever suits you and whatever makes you feel better. Don’t change your body for the approval of others. If you’re unhappy, it’s only you who can do something about it.
I’ve emerged the gym into my daily routine, and I ensure that I eat well because it’s me who does my food shopping. If I don’t buy bad foods, then I can’t eat them! I really can’t believe how far I have come with my body and my confidence, and although I am not quite 100% yet, I am so excited to continue improving my life and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
I also try not to kid myself thinking it’s all going to be easy. There are times when I’ve been feeling unmotivated and have skipped the gym for a week, or maybe even two when everything has been getting on top of me. There have been times when I feel down and can’t even find the energy to make something to eat, so I’ll waste my money and order a takeaway and feel even worse about myself afterwards. But you’ve just got to try and push yourself!
I know that if I can make myself feel better, generally healthier in my body AND my mind from where I started from, then anyone can. I would love to continue sharing my fitness progress through my blog, because anyone can do it.
I know you can! Believe in yourself.

 

What is the true meaning of Christmas?

YAY December is here! Christmas is approaching! I really do love Christmas. I love the constant food that you’re allowed to eat just because it’s Christmas. I love the Christmas jumpers, getting new socks and pyjamas, spending time with my family, getting drunk at 12 in the afternoon JUST BECAUSE it’s Christmas, everything!! Since December 1st, I have already consumed by body weight in biscuits, I can’t stop eating them! I keep telling myself that it’s Christmas and therefore I can treat myself.
Christmas is such a jolly time. Although the temperature outside drops in December which I’m not always a big fan of, because the freezing cold mornings do make it hard to get out of bed. But they look so pretty when you finally make it outside! I do love the lead up to Christmas. Each year I feel as though it starts to begin earlier and earlier. This year, I was seeing Christmas decorations in shops and Christmas adverts on the television around mid- November time which is pretty ridiculous. But it did get me into the Christmas spirit!
Especially as I live at University so I am away from home for the majority of the year, I love the Christmas break that I get as I’m able to go back home and spend the whole of it with my family.
For this blog post, I wanted to talk about Christmas and what it means to me personally and what I think it should represent for everyone else too.
I also wanted to address the facts that Christmas isn’t a happy time for everyone. For a number of different reasons, Christmas can be such a painful time for a lot of people and I wanted to talk about how important it is to respect this, and what we can do to help.
Christmas for me, is nothing to do with any gifts that I may or may not get from people. I would much rather receive a thoughtful and generous gift from someone, than an expensive one that doesn’t have any meaning behind it. I truly mean that. Sometimes it’s easy to feel pressure about what to buy for people. We feel the need to buy people gifts and cards who we may have not spoken to for the entire year, but we feel a responsibility to get something for them and end up putting way too much pressure on ourselves in fear of not disappointing anyone. We write a long list of people who we must send Christmas cards too just because we’ve always done it and we would hate to miss them out, even if we haven’t had a face to face conversation with these people in years! It’s crazy when you think about it.
I don’t have children myself, but I can completely understand how difficult it must be for parents around Christmas time, planning what gifts to get for their children and spending a lot of money and hoping that they won’t be disappointed and feeling guilty if they are. I understand how difficult it must be to ensure that all of your children get equal amounts of gifts so that there is no fighting. Sometimes this pressure makes us forget the idea of what Christmas is all about.
I love how Christmas is a time for everyone to come together and look back on the year they’ve had and have fun together. It’s lovely to open cards and presents with your family, but for me, it really isn’t about that. Of course, when I was younger I absolutely loved opening my new toys and couldn’t wait to see what ‘Santa’ had brought to me. But now that I’m 20, I’ve realised how much pressure is put on parents, and everyone, to make sure they get the right presents and I’ve started to realise that – not to sound too cheesy – but this isn’t the true meaning of Christmas.
 
We work hard all year round to then spend the majority of our money at Christmas time, which I don’t think is fair. I love my family and my friends, and don’t get me wrong, I’d absolutely love to spoil them and I love seeing their faces light up if I buy them something I know they really want. But whilst I’m a student, I know that I can’t afford to buy expensive presents and even if I did have the money, I still wouldn’t.
We need to start putting more thought into our presents and Christmas a whole. It’s a lovely time to spend with family and friends and the people that we love. It’s about appreciating each other in every way and creating memories at Christmas time which will be talked about for years to come, and generations to come. Especially if your family is large and is dispersed all over the country, or even in different places all over the world – Christmas is a time where everyone should come together and enjoy each other’s company. Until the Christmas board games are brought out and the whole family starts arguing about the rules – it happens every year!
Christmas is portrayed as a jolly, happy and fun time for everyone. As I’m getting older, I can’t help but think about those people who are in need, and those people who don’t find Christmas a happy and joyful time. For some people, Christmas brings back awful memories of something they experienced around December and are trying to forget. For some people, Christmas makes grieving for someone they’ve lost much more difficult, knowing that another Christmas will be spent without them here. Some people are homeless on Christmas, some people have absolutely nothing. Some people are lonely and have nobody to see and nowhere to go at Christmas time. The reasons why Christmas isn’t enjoyable for everyone are endless.
It’s so important to give everything you can and help as much as you can to people who need it the most. Nobody should ever feel lonely around Christma
s time and it’s important that we try to help prevent that in any way we can. Sometimes I think of so many ideas of ways that I want to help people, it makes me think I need to save the world. I know that we can’t help everybody, and some people don’t want to be helped and prefer being homeless or being by themselves at Christmas time, and these personal decisions need to be respected.
But for the people who are lonely and it isn’t through their own choice, I am determined to help out at Christmas time and make them feel part of something again. Whether it’s just enjoying a Christmas dinner at the local pub and meeting new friends, everyone should be surrounded by happiness at Christmas and there are so many ways we can volunteer and help to do this.
As for those who have lost someone close to them, including myself, it’s important to try and enjoy Christmas even though they aren’t here. Christmas will make you think of that person more and miss them, and wish more than anything that they were still here. But Christmas should be thought of as a time to come together and honour that person, to talk about special memories that the family member or friend, parent, grandparent, whoever it may be, was part of. We can use Christmas as a way of celebrating their life and a way of thinking about all the fantastic Christmases they were part of in the past.
I hope the message taken from this article is to respect others at Christmas and to understand that it isn’t always a great experience for everyone. This doesn’t mean that you should ever feel guilty for enjoying your Christmas or showing off your gifts. However, I think it’s very important to spare a thought for those vulnerable people who are in a worse position than us and think about the selfless acts of kindness we can do for those who really need us.
I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas, remember to hug your loved ones tight and appreciate every second you share together over the Christmas period.

 

I wish you all the greatest happiness and health going into 2018.

SIZE DOES NOT DEFINE BEAUTY.

Hello, hello, hello! So, a couple of hours ago, as I was sweating and spluttering on the treadmill trying to run off the chocolate bar I’d eaten at lunch, I was thinking about another idea for a post to do with health, fitness, and lifestyle. Recently, as Christmas and the New Year is approaching us, I’ve been trying my best to get fit and attempt to lose a small bit of weight. My logic is that if I can achieve this before Christmas then I can eat all the chocolate, cake and Christmas pudding that I want, to treat myself for the hard work I’ve done in the gym. Sounds fair, right?

I really enjoy exercising because I know of all the positive affects it has on your overall health and well being, and I do feel great after I’ve motivated myself to do a long workout. But sometimes, it takes a hell of a lot for me to get myself up and even walk through the doors of the gym. As soon as I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirrors that are stuck up on every wall of the gym, I always feel a sense of embarrassment, thinking that people will be staring at me in the gym. It sounds so ridiculous, because I know that the reality is 100% of the time people do their own thing and don’t bat an eyelid. But it’s hard, to feel completely confident enough with yourself to stand in front of that mirror in the gym or at home and love what you see.
These feelings prompted me to write a post, addressing the big issue of body confidence and why we should try to learn to be happy with ourselves, no matter what size we are!
I have been fluctuating between sizes 8-12 all my life. I can’t say that I feel totally happy with my body, but I think that’s just the normal human reaction when we look at ourselves in the mirror. My body is complete different shapes and sizes; I’m small in height (5’2 to be exact), but have long arms, big hips and thighs, and small legs – I’m totally out of proportion.
I know that the things I see online aren’t always reality, but it’s true that we can’t help letting the things we see affect us. The rise of social media has warped the way we view ourselves. When we’re scrolling on Instagram and see all of the pretty and skinny models, we sit and wish that we looked like them. When we watch television and see the adverts, 99% of the women used for different adverts and campaigns are size zero models. It leaves us feeling miserable about seeing these types of models, and frustrated that we aren’t seeing normal, everyday women on our TV and phone screens. We start to tell ourselves we need to aspire to look like these models, so we break our backs trying to work out, paying over the odds for gym memberships and healthy eating recipes. 
But why? Why can’t we be happy with our own bodies? Why can’t we work out for ourselves, instead of doing it to become someone else?
A while back, my friend told me that a guy made it clear he didn’t want any communication with her anymore and his reason for this was disgusting. He said she was ‘too big’ and he wasn’t into that kind of ‘thing’. 
Comments just like this should never be targeted at anyone, and it made me sick to my stomach that he had an opinion of this kind. Body confidence is probably one of the most difficult things to feel and it makes it harder when people have these kinds of attitudes, and I am so glad that some companies are now beginning to use models of all different shapes, including plus size, to show small-minded people who have these opinions that being any size is BEAUTIFUL. 
It’s so difficult not to compare what we look like to others. We’re always trying to look better, and feel better. But I have one thing I’ve started to tell myself and I hope you can do the same no matter what size you are;
I LOVE MY BODY.
We are beautiful in every way! If I want to go to the gym and eat healthily, I’m doing it for myself. Nobody else. I’m tired of looking online and feeling te
rrible after comparing myself to people who I will probably never meet in real life. We have begun to have such a distorted view of what is actually reality. The things people post online are what they want us to see. Women’s bodies are being photo-shopped in every aspect so that they look the way the model wants to be presented, in order to get the most ‘likes’.
I’m trying my hardest not to consume myself in the social media bubble that is so easy to get pulled into, because I’m tired of comparing myself!
It does take a lot of time, but I’m learning to love the way I look. I’m learning that it doesn’t matter how different your body may look compared to somebody else’s, because we are all different, unique and special in our own way. And we are all beautiful.
It doesn’t matter what size you are, what shape you are, or even what hair colour you are. You can wear whatever you want, work out as much or as little as you want, eat whatever you want as long as you are happy in your own skin and feel confident.
As we’re living in the 21st century, and we know that the rise of technology, social media and advertising is going to continue to rise and take over every single aspect of our lives. Which is amazing, because social media is wonderful for so many different things. However, we need to ensure that we do not let the posts we see of other people affect the reality we are living. An image of a pretty, tiny, size 6 model DOES NOT DEFINE BEAUTY. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and the greatest beauty you can portray is CONFIDENCE.
Social comparison is unhealthy but is felt by everybody, it’s hard not to. But once we learn to love the way we look, we can appreciate others who we see online, but know that we don’t have to compare ourselves to them, or moreover, aspire to be them.
We are all beautiful!